


Getting to Know You

by AliceCarroll



Series: A Game of Secrets [2]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Chess, F/M, Fluff, Humour, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Secrets, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-08 00:13:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14092785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceCarroll/pseuds/AliceCarroll
Summary: Emil finds Saeran in a dating app, but he tries to push him away. Will Emily be able to save the distance Saeran tries to impose?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here comes the first chapter of the second part of this series! ^^
> 
> You can read this part without having read the previous one :3
> 
> I'm quite happy with how Emil's character has turned out and I think I've managed to make a funny narrative, but feedback is always welcome! ^^
> 
> Thank you for reading <3

**Grumpy_cat:** Hi

I blink a couple of times in surprise. That nickname... it’s the strange guy from yesterday. I sit up on the couch and type a fast reply. I wasn’t expecting him to talk to me all of a sudden, I just thought he was going to go on with his epic quest trolling creepy dudes on the internet, as he had told me he did the first and only time we chatted. After writing and erasing a couple of answers, I finally come out with a:

 **Emil:** Hey, you

Shouldn’t have written the ‘you’ thing. Now I look like a freaking ‘cool’ dad of a series or film badly dubbed. I frown at my own text, trying to make it disappear, but, as expected, it’s of no use.

 **Grumpy_cat:** Found anymore creepy dudes?

What does that even mean?

 **Emil:** You mean apart from you?

Why did I type that?!?! I didn’t want to type that!!!!!!

 **Grumpy_cat:** you think I’m creepy? ^^”

 **Emil:** I mean, look at your username.

I bite my lower lip.

 **Saeran:** Better?

I blink a couple of times in surprise and blush in spite of myself. Just why am I blushing?!

 **Emil:** Is that your real name?

I ask, instead of banging my head against the walls as I would actually like to do.

 **Saeran:** My brother was the one who made my account

     Of course I would have a strange username -.-“

I try not to find adorable that he actually uses that many emojis.

 **Saeran:** Besides, the ‘cat’ thing attracted quite a lot of perverts

 **Emil:** I think I can guess why

 **Saeran:** I read those chess books you recommended me.

Already? I raise an eyebrow, surprised, and taking the chance that my sister is passing by to show her my ability raising a single eyebrow.

“Stupid chess nerd,” she whispers. She has always wanted to be able to do it.

 **Emil:** What did you think?

 **Saeran:** They’re interesting

 **Emil:** ofc, they’re chess books

     They’re meant to go about chess, yah know?

     Chess is interesting

 **Saeran:** Hahahaha!

     Sorry, sorry ;)

I blush at the emoji. Just how can he get the idea of a cocky smile through the phone? I look at his avatar picture to try and imagine him better, but it’s black.

 **Emil:** how could you read all that in so little time?

 **Saeran:** I... have

     Quite a lot of free time.

The answer didn’t come straight away like usually, so I try to brush it off. I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable... since I’m bored!! I’m bored, so I want to continue talking to him, alright?! Any problem?! No? I guessed so.

 **Emil:** I would imagine that of a guy who devotes on playing pranks on creepy people

 

My conversations with Saeran have become more frequent. He is... entertaining.

 **Emil:** Hey

I applaud myself at the greeting.

 **Saeran:** Hi, Emil

     Are you nervous?

I hold back a smile. He remembers!!!

 **Emil:** Hmpf

     Of course I’m not nervous.

     I’ve participated in chess competitions since I was a kid

     This is nothing for me

 **Saeran:** Is that so?

     I’m sure you’ll do great, then.

 **Emil:** Are you implying that if I were, which I’m not, if I were nervous I wouldn’t do well? Because that’s silly, alright.

I’m not nervous, alright?

 **Saeran:**... so you are nervous after all

     I guessed so

 **Emil:** I’m telling you I’m...

I stop typing midsentence and send it without realising, since I’m too busy looking at Saeran’s last message. He has sent a picture of himself. Well, of his eyes. He is partially hidden behind a chess book, which I find embarrassingly sexy, and his green eyes look at the camera above it. He has a beautiful messy red hair and his skin looks pale. But what makes my heart beat faster is the fucking eyeliner. He’s wearing fucking eyeliner and my heart doesn’t know how to handle that.

 **Saeran:** So...

     ...

     I’m studying chess, so I’m cheering for you, alright?

I’m pretty conscious that I’m not saying a thing, but how am I supposed to? What should I say?! YOU LOOK FUCKING GORGEOUS AND I CAN’T EVEN SEE HALF OF YOUR FREAKING FACE?!!?!?!?!?!?!?! Thanks, but no thanks.

“Whatever are you yelling?” my sister asks, knocking on my door as she passes by my room.

“Fuck off!!” I exclaim at her.

 **Emil:** I’ll send you a picture after finishing the tournament and getting the trophy

Why did I promise that?!?!?!?! I throw my phone to the wall in front of me, going all pale when I realise what I have done.

“No, no, nononononono, my babe, are you alright?” I baby-talk to the phone, close to tears. At that moment, it buzzes, making me startle and dropping it.

 **Saeran:** I’m looking forward to it.

Fuuuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkk!!! I am about to throw it again, but I stop myself. That was fucking close!!!

I won the tournament. Of course I did. I take my phone and text my parents, pretty proud of myself, and the only friend I have at school who’s not a chess nerd and hasn’t actually participated on the tournament and then I text fucking Saeran.

 **Emil:** I won.

I turn on the camera of the phone and put it on selfie mode. I’m a freaking mess. I look tired, sweaty and sloppy, and I feel like uninstalling the app and forget all about gorgeous Saeran if that would prevent me from having to send the picture. I get to stop my impulses, though. What if I look terrible? I don’t give a fuck, alright? It’s the brain what counts in chess, ok? The brain! And I’ve just shown all of them I have a pretty well-functioning one in here.

I send the picture to him without looking at it not to regret my decision.

 **Saeran:** cute

Cute? What’s cute? I’m cute? Winning a tournament is cute? I look around me, there’s nothing cute round here. Is the trophy cute?

 **Saeran:** Congrats.

I can’t help but noticing he seems somehow down.

 **Emil:** thanks.

I hesitate, but end up asking.

 **Emil:** you alright?

 **Saeran:** maybe we should stop talking.

 

‘Maybe we should stop talking.’ Those words echo in my head as I look at the teacher, talking about God-knows-what, and bite furiously on my pen. You know what I did after reading those words? Of course, I fucking stopped talking to him!! Who needs a gorgeous Saeran when I have my precious game?! I continue caressing my queen under the table and ignore Eddy, who’s trying to tell me something since the beginning of the class.

“Emil, this is History, not Maths!” he whispers.

‘Maybe we should stop talking,’ he says. Well, you can go and mute yourself! Not that I’m going to cry, you know? Not that I have cried already!!!

Tsk. Well, he can stop talking to me if he wants to, but why should I? I’m a pretty chatty guy, you know? And I don’t take other people’s orders or ‘suggestions.’ Yeah, that’s right! I can continue writing to him!! Of course I can!! I can talk to him even though he doesn’t answer! Because I’m an interesting dude, so I just need myself to have fun! That’s right!! Let’s do just so!

Having finally found the perfect excuse to talk to Saeran again, I take my phone and type on it a quick ‘hi.’

“Emil!!!” I squeal when the teacher’s chalk lands dangerously close to my precious face. “Stop laughing like a creepy idiot!”

The class starts laughing at me and the teacher stops next to me, stretching out his hand for me to give him my phone.

“And this isn’t Maths. This is History,” he points at my book.

He finally goes away and I turn to face Eddy.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I tried to,” he whines, but I don’t listen to him, too busy taking out my History book as I mutter complaints under my breath.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the second chapter! :3
> 
> I reaaally hope you like it. I'm having a lot of fun writing this ^^
> 
> Thank you for reading <3

The class finally finishes and my teacher gives me my phone back. I am lucky that he is a chess freak like me and that he likes me, or else I should have had to wait until the end of the morning to get my phone back. Yasss!!

I open it in a hurry to see if Saeran has replied to my message... wait! I have no hurry! I can take my time... oh, he has replied.

 **Saeran:** Hi

I’m surprised you’re still talking to me after what happened the other day

     ...

     Sorry.

     I guess you’re mad.

Shit! I hadn’t had the chance to reply before.

 **Emil:** Sorry, I was in class

     I’m not mad.

     I think.

I bite my lower lip and hold back a smile as I notice he’s already replying to my answer.

 **Saeran:** That’s... nice to read.

 **Emil:** What happened?

 **Saeran:** What do you mean?

 **Emil:** For you to say that.

I start to get nervous as he’s getting his time to answer. Damn Saeran!

 **Saeran:** I was having a bad day

 **Emil:** How come?

I don’t know if I’m being nosy... well, I do know I’m being nosy, but I can’t help but worr... feeling curious!!!

 **Saeran:** You don’t want to know.

Tsk. That’s absurd! If I didn’t want to know I wouldn’t have asked.

 **Emil:** Well, of course I do! We’re friends!

 **Saeran:** Are we friends?

He asks after a pause and I feel all the blood going away from my cheeks. Maybe I am the only one who thinks we are?! He doesn’t want to be my friend?! Am I too nerdy to him?!?! But I told him I like edgy stuff!! Fuuuuuuuck!!!

I decide to reply in a casual way.

 **Emil:** You’re welcome.

What the fuck!?!?!?! That’s not causal, that’s just stupid!!!

 **Saeran:** Hahahaha!

     Thank you, Emil.

Oh. There comes the blood again to my cheeks. Though way too much.

We continue talking about trivial shit since Saeran seems to be still reluctant to let me know what was going on with him that day, and I don’t know how I do it, but I end up asking him to meet on Saturday to go to a café. Why do I do this to me?

 

I’m usually not this anxious over things, alright? It’s because I don’t know him in real life and I know he’s some years older than me that I am staring at my open closet with no clue about what to fucking wear. And it’s freaking Friday. Besides, my sister stole this morning some clothes from my wardrobe for some reason, so my favourite hoodie is gone with her, and I bet it’s not going to be in the best condition for Saturday.

Oh, wait. I actually told Saeran I’m edgy. But what the heck does that shit imply?! He had just told me once that he was what could be considered edgy and I replied with a lame ‘yah, me too, lol.’ Why did I do that? Well, I don’t know.

I go out yelling at my thick parents I’m going to go for a walk just in case they finally find out during the course of the afternoon that I’m not home and start believing I’ve been abducted by aliens or something, and head towards the shopping centre as my sister should do if she wants to wear male clothing. God, that was a long sentence. Whatever.

I take my phone and type ‘edgy fashion’ in Google Images. God. How do they fit their willie in those fucking trousers?! I look around and finally find a shop that has that kind of things. I must admit they look good on the people round there, but I’m not sure how will they look on me. I’m going to feel as if I was in disguise. God, that ass.

I look up to the owner of said ass and find a red hair. Oh, fuck, is that Saeran? I do the only thing I can think of, and hide behind a mannequin that looks more eager to live than I at this moment. Now that I think of it, he may not be Saeran. He’s not the only red-haired person in this city, am I right? If I only could take a look to those eyes of him, maybe...

“Can I help you, sir?”

“Oh, holy shit!” I embrace the mannequin.

“...I’m sorry I scared you,” a hot edgy guy says, worry spread all over his features.

“I’m not scared, I’m...” maybe it will be more absurd to say I fucking wanted to give some love to that mannequin, so I just shut up.

“Can I help you?”

“I want to look edgy without dying from embarrassment,” I confess. “And I would also like to know the colour of the eyes of that red-haired guy...” I turn to point at him, but he’s disappeared.

“...????” the face of the hot edgy guy says for him.

“Never mind.”

“Let me help you look for something.”

I finally go out of the shop with some leather trousers in which I got to fit and a couple of t-shirts in the hope that Saeran will actually want to see me again. Come to think of it, maybe he doesn’t. Whatever.

On Saturday, I wake up on a good mood until I realise I’m meeting Saeran. That makes my mood turn anxious. We had agreed to meet at my school, so I can change in the toilets and go out of home in my usual clothing. Ok, never try to put on tight fake-leather trousers in a toilet. It’s fucking complicated.

I had stolen my sister eyeliner as a good boy, so I put it on carefully. Fortunately, I’ve watched some tutorials on how to paint your freaking face without breaking your eyes or something, so it is going easier than expected.

I go out of the school trying to avoid as many people as possible, and I see him at the door. My heart jumps in my chest when I spot that red hair that caught my attention on the picture. I look at the floor, frowning. This situation is just stupid.

“Saeran?” I ask when I reach him and look up, my face reflecting my annoyance. He looks back at me in a gesture of surprise and I see his fucking beautiful eyes and his pale face and pink lips and oh, my fucking God, I am so not ready.

My face starts burning instantly, but I can’t seem to look down, so I just stare at him with my resting-bitch face until he decides to answer or something. He clears his throat and finally opens that gorgeous mouth of him.

“Emil?” he does something similar to a smile.

“Yeah, that’s how they call me, should we go?”

Why the fuck did that sound so rude? What the fuck?!?! Emil, put your fucking self together.

“Sure,” Saeran replies, so I start leading the way.

He looks freaking anxious, which is making me anxious. Why isn’t he talking? Why isn’t he teasing me? I prefer the teasing to the uncomfortable silence, damn!!!

We arrive to the café and sit at the first table we find. I take the chance to look at the menu closely, as if it was written in Sanskrit, and spend my time trying to actually find out what the heck I want apart from thrusting my tongue into Saeran’s mouth.

“I want a tea, what do you want?” I end up saying.

“Ice cream.”

“In fucking autumn?”

He smirks. Oh, God. He fucking smirks. I feel my face heating up instantly, which only makes him chuckle.

“In fucking autumn.”

“W-whatever,” I clear my throat. “I’ll order it, so don’t move or I’ll throw your frozen treat to the garbage.”

“I wasn’t planning on moving,” he replies with that smirk of his.

I am a bit relieved, actually, to hear that. Whatever. I order our stuff and take the chance to breathe in and out and calm down so that my face doesn’t end up in literal fire. I go back to the table, proud of myself, thinking I have actually managed not to look like a fucking loser in front of Saeran, but my cheeks seem to have other plans, so by the time he takes his ice cream with a soft ‘thank you,’ I’m burning again.

“So, why did you try to push me out?”

Wow. Easy way to start our first proper face to face conversation, Emil. He seems to think just so, for he looks at me and back to his ice cream with a serious expression.

“I have bad days,” he replies.

“Everybody has bad days,” I insist instead of taking my own advice of shutting the fuck up and talk about the weather.

“Mine are way more frequent... and worse,” he adds in a whisper.

Have I crossed a line? Well, I don’t seem to mind.

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“If I didn’t I wouldn’t be asking you,” I insist, starting to get frustrated.

“You say that because you don’t know what kind of person I am. If you knew, you wouldn’t be wasting your time with me,” he shrugs.

How can he say that so easily? What did he have to go through to say that?

By the time I realise, I’m sobbing.

“Oh, fuck,” Saeran reaches for a napkin and wipes my tears as if I were a fucking baby. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t... Why...?”

“Why do you say that? You have no right to say that. You don’t know me, and I don’t know you, though I want to know you, so that’s why I ask. Because the part of you that I know, I like, and it’s not fair that you suddenly push me away because you just assume I’m not going to like you when I do like you already and my tea is still hot and this is fucking awful.”

“Ok, I understand,” really? How? Because I don’t even know what the fuck I have just said, lol. “Why don’t you try to calm down for a while? Then I’ll explain properly, alright?”

“If you don’t, I’ll throw my tea on your fucking autumnal ice cream,” I reply.

“Ok, calm down.”

By the time I can actually start sipping my tea, I have stopped crying, so I look inquisitively at him.

“So... I’ve got... issues.”

I nod to encourage him to proceed, but as he doesn’t, I speak up.

“What kind of issues?”

He lets out a huff.

“All kind of issues. My childhood was... complicated. I have abandonment issues, trust issues, nightmares, depression and anxiety. I have to take...” he makes a pause.

“Pills?” I encourage him to proceed.

“All kind of shit to fake sanity,” he laughs bitterly. “I can’t work, I can’t study, and my life is a fucking waste.”

“If you say that, I’ll probably cry again,” I confess.

“See? You don’t want to hang out with a guy like me.

I take my napkin full of tears and snore and throw it at him.

“I told you not to decide for me,” I say.

“What?”

“I mean,” I look away from him. “I’m not a patient person that will understand all your issues and be all calm and positive about them. I’ll get mad at you if you stop trusting or talking to me for no reason and I’ll probably won’t know what to do if your depression or anxiety strikes, and I’ll probably get anxious myself. I won’t be all positive all the time and if you tell me life is shit, I’ll tell you it is shit, but, well. I’m only a fucking chess nerd who starts crying out of the blue and gets mad at your fucking appearance, but if you’re eager to cope with me, I feel the same.”

Duh. What the fuck I’ve just said?

Saeran looks at me the same way as I would look at myself: with wide puzzled eyes.

“...why?” he finally asks after a while.

“Dunno, dude, you’re cool.”

Seriously, Emil? Seriously? Ok, forget about the guy, he’s never going to like you or want to talk to you again, or... Saeran bursts out laughing and I want the earth to swallow me whole.

“Of course, only you could reply that,” he says, shaking his head, still laughing. I shrug, not knowing how to interpret that, and not wanting to risk the little dignity I have left. “Well, you are quite cool too, so if you really want to, I guess we could hang out some other time,” he says, and suddenly his smirk comes back. “Besides, you’re sexy.”

Oh, well, fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check more content in my Tumblr!: https://makachan88.tumblr.com/


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the next chapter! I won't be able to upload very often this April, but here you have a new chapter to start the month.
> 
> I swear it's not an April Fool's prank!
> 
> Thank you for reading ^^

**Saeran:** it was complicated

We have continued talking since our first date... date?! Ohohoho, what am I saying? He. It didn’t end up in a kiss or anything like that, but I could feel he liked me even if just a little. I think. He.

 **Emil:** I can guess.

     Was school good at least?

We are talking about his childhood since I made him promise he would open up to me.

 **Saeran:** I...

I only went to school for a couple of years and I wasn’t really good adapting myself

I stare blankly at the screen of my phone.

 **Emil:** Want to come to one of my classes?

 **Saeran:** Are you kidding?

     How am I going to sneak into a high school class?

 **Emil:** I can make up any excuse

     You’ll have to pretend you’re younger, though

     How old are you anyway?

 **Saeran:** 22

Oh, God, he’s 5 years older than I. So fucking sexy.

 **Emil:** you don’t look 22

 **Saeran:** You don’t look 17

 **Emil:** I know

     Whatever

I can tell my professor you’re a friend of my sister from uni and that you’re carrying out a survey about the teaching methods of the nearby schools so that you can attend some classes

     What do you think?

Oh, I can be so clever.

 **Saeran:** ...

     Ok

He doesn’t seem really excited about it, but I am for the two of us anyway. Not that the prospect of seeing Saeran makes me happy, of course. It’s just that I enjoy doing good things for the people around me. I’m such a philanthropist.

So, there I am, waiting for Saeran at the front door of my school, excited as a school girl of some shojo manga, emanating philantropism. I feel myself giving small jumps of excitement as I spot a red-head coming my way, green piercing eyes and a nerdy jum... NERDY JUMPER HOLY SHIT, SAERAN!!!

I gasp for breath as a blushing, nerdy Saeran waves his hand shyly at me. I hold back the urge to take a Bible and hit my head with it until all the impure thoughts disappear, but I just wave back, my mind going blank.

“What’s with that outfit?” I frown.

 _Because you look like a fucking angel_ , I think. Saeran sighs and I regret my existence.

“My brother gave it to me when we started living together. I guess I look just as pathetic as I thought.”

If by pathetic you mean you’d be the front image of a gay calendar for nerds, hell, yeah, pathetic as fuck.

“You’re hot,” I reply, and Saeran startles. “BECAUSE WE ARE IN SUMMER AHAHAHAHAHA,” I laugh nervously, blushing like a maniac, and taking his wrist to drag him into the building.

“It’s not...”

“Loa! The classes are about to start, nerdy boy, so shut up and follow the leader.”

He snorts a laugh and I regret being alive. We enter the classroom and the teacher welcomes Saeran, making him all shy, cute, adorable, handsome(r) and all kinds of adjective that pop out into my mind because, fuck, I think I’m falling for... NONONONONO, don’t go that way Emil.

Stream of consciousness is HARD. Anyway.

He sits on one of the desks at the back of the class and I sit at my usual place in front of Eddy.

“Who’s that boy?” he asks me. “He’s handsome.”

“He’s here because he has to do some university shit,” I reply, focusing on my acting.

“Why is your voice trembling?”

“...I don’t know what you’re talking...”

“Emil!!” the teacher shoots a chalk towards me. “How many times do I have to tell you to pay attention!?”

I raise a hand in surrender and he takes the chalk. When he’s gone and back to the blackboard, I glance backwards and see Saeran giving me a cocky smirk, amused. I turn my head in a hurry and look at the teacher, feeling my cheeks warming up.

Some classes later, I walk towards Saeran to indicate him it’s time for the break. He nods, his expression tired as I have never seen it before, and walks behind me. All the students go out of their classes at the same time, so I take Saeran’s wrist to guide him to get some lunch, but I suddenly feel him freezing in the middle of the corridor.

“Saeran?” I call him, turning around only to find him completely pale and taking in and out shaky and elaborated breaths. “...are you alright?”

Wow. I can already hear the FBI hiring me.

“Yes,” he shakily replies. Another candidate for the FBI right here.

I take him to the toilet and we hide in one of the compartments because some clever part of me thinks the best idea I could have is taking a person to an enclosed space in the middle of a nervous breakdown, of course. I look at him, starting to panic myself.

“Want some water?”

Instead of replying to my useless self, he sits on the floor, embracing his knees and putting his head between them.

“Do you need something? Do you feel better? Should I shut up?!”

At that moment, I hear a soft knock on the door and Eddy’s voice at the other side. I have never been so happy to hear his high-pitched voice in my entire existence.

I opened the door for him and explained the situation. He kneels in front of Saeran and whispered him to focus on his breathing, which Saeran does. Soon enough, he is ready to go out of the toilet and Eddy leads us outside for Saeran –and I, honestly –to breathe some fresh air.

“Seriously, how are you so good at handling nervous breakdown?” I ask him, grateful, but ill-humoured at my uselessness.

“I used to have a lot when I was little,” Eddy shrugs and I feel slightly guilty. I should have known.

“And how did you it was me in the toilet?” I narrow my eyes, eager to change the subject.

“Oh, I could see your shoes at the other side of the door.”

“Are you a fucking stalker or...?”

“Thank you,” Saeran suddenly says in a thin voice.

Eddy turns and smiles at him with that cute smile of his, and I regret being alive to see my bestie being so good at turning into my crush’s prince. I look around me to dive into the nearest bush and let myself die there, when Saeran speaks again.

“And sorry for the trouble, Emil.”

Of fucking course, now he feels guilty.

“It was no trouble,” I sigh. “I’m sorry I was so useless.”

“I’ll leave you, guys, alone now,” Eddy says, reading the mood, and I hate him for that.

I look at him leaving in desperation.

“I think I’ll go home,” Saeran bites his gorgeous lip and I want to help him doing just so. Biting his lip, not going home.

“Alright,” I say instead.

 

The next days

Are

Fucking

HELL

Saeran won’t reply to my messages, of fucking course, and I want to slam my head against the walls of my room as my sister contributes to my stress stealing clothes. I scream the hell out of her and she gives me a strange look.

“’Sup with you, little brother?”

“Let’s say I have a hypothetical crush in this hypothetical person and they have hypothetically stopped talking to me because I’m hypothetically useless.”

“Then tell him to fuck off.”

Of course, I couldn’t do that, so I kept on writing as a damn stalker until he replied.

 **Saeran:** I’m really sorry.

Seen that he’s not going to stop blaming himself for having a nervous breakdown and I won’t stop blaming myself for doing everything wrong, I opt for avoiding the subject.

 **Emil:** why?

Thus, we continue talking like normal and I applaud myself for playing the fool and ignoring a sensitive issue. Yey!

We arrange to meet the following Saturday and I find myself getting nervous at the prospect of meeting him. I am damn right to feel that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check more content in my Tumblr!: https://makachan88.tumblr.com/


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes a new chapter! I hope you're enjoying reading about Emil as much as I enjoy writing him :3
> 
> Thank you for reading <3

I meet him at the door of my school after the classes were over and I put on some eyeliner just to pretend I’m half as cool as he is. He greets me waving awkwardly a hand and I return the gesture as embarrassed as he is. I can’t take from my mind the incident of the other day, and his behaviour doesn’t help setting my mind on something else.

We walk to a cafeteria in which I look with narrowed and challenging eyes at anyone who dares directing a glance towards our precious Saennamon-roll. I don’t want him getting another nervous breakdown and being around people doesn’t make him feel good, so I’ve decided I will kick their asses off if necessary.

He sits and when I ask him what he wants to have, he replies with a dry ‘ice-cream.’ Time passes painfully slowly as I sit at the table, having our treats, and I want to kill myself.

“Saeran,” I finally speak up, “I’m going to fall dead on the floor if you don’t say anything.”

“I’m sorry,” he suddenly says, stirring his ice-cream awkwardly with his spoon. “About the other day. I understand if you don’t want to hang out with me anymore.”

Just when I am about to say a couple of things to him, he looks up at me, his piercing, beautiful, gorgeous green eyes looking at mine as if he wanted me to forget how to speak.

“Aaaaaaah, eeeeeeeeer, you, hmmm, don’t, I mean,” well, if that is his intention, he definitely has succeeded, “you know, jerk, I am the one who is sorry, so stop apologising already.” Well, Emil, we would have done better without the insult, but I guess that’s all we can manage without dying. Meh.

“I was useless,” I continue rambling. Please, stop me. “Well, I told you I was going to be useless anyway, so you should have expected that, but still...” I pause awkwardly. “Eddy was more useful. And Eddy’s not usually useful. Gaaaaaaaaaaah, what am I even saying?!” Poor Eddy. “Anyway, you told me you had anxiety too, so even though I wasn’t expecting my school to trigger it... oh, God, school always trigger anxiety, I’m such an idiot,” I snort, looking away from him and sipping some coffee. He takes the chance to speak up now that I have finally shut up.

“Still, it’s... I’m embarrassed.”

That takes me by surprise, and I startle, trying to keep his blush from clouding my senses.

“Why would you be embarrassed?”

“I can’t be normal,” he gives me that bitter look of the last time we talked about his issues, and I snort.

“If you needed to be ‘normal’,” I use my fingers to draw inverted commas in the air, “for me to want to hang out with you, I would have crushed on Eddy and not you.”

I drink some coffee again, as if proud of my answer, thinking about how many times I have mentioned poor Eddy in a row. I’m probably still jealous of...

I look up to find Saeran staring at me wide-eyed, his cheeks completely flushed.

“Wha...?” it’s then when I realise that I’ve just confessed.

Genius.

“You...”

“I’m going to pay for this and we can go home,” I reply, standing up on shaky legs which steady themselves as I run to the counter.

Saeran waits for me at the door of the cafeteria, playing with the sexy black polish of his sexy nails and I lead the way out, looking for a place from which I can throw my useless self.

“Thank you,” Saeran suddenly says and grabs the back of my school jumper. I turn, feeling my cheeks burning despite myself, and look at him, surprised. “For pretending you like me to make me feel better.”

Can I kill him now? Please, say I can.

Ok, I’m (almost) an adult, I don’t need your consent.

Instead of killing him, though, I look at him as if I had just found an alien and think about something to say. Maybe he’s pretending it was a lie because he doesn’t like me and doesn’t want me to feel uncomfortable? I sigh. That’s probably the case. I should just say ‘it’s ok, I’m sure you’ll find someone who really likes you soon’ or something like that.

Oh, no.

My lower lip is trembling.

Shit shit shit shit shit.

“Emil?” Saeran asks as my eyes become watery. Why do I have to turn into a crying baby just now?!?!?!

“I’m sure you’ll find someone who really likes you soon,” I say, though I don’t know if he’s understood shit with my shaky voice.

“What did you say?” he asks me. Well, great. “Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry,” he says as he tries to wipe away my tears with his thumbs. His hand lingers for a moment, or so it looks like, on my cheek and I think my heart is going to burst out of my chest.

I’m going to repeat my sentence, but just as I am going to speak, Saeran bits his lower lip and releases it, and I can’t help but leaning forward, stand on my tiptoes and kiss him.

My first kiss is shit. Saeran freezes and I’m sure my breath tastes as tears and the bitter flavour of coffee, which Saeran doesn’t like. I feel I’m filling his perfect lips with drool and he doesn’t reciprocate the fucking kiss, but if I move away and open my eyes I’ll just die, so I just dig my grave a bit deeper and stay put with my lips against his.

Suddenly, he parts his lips and kisses me softly, his hands squeezing my shoulders, clearly nervous. I return the kiss, thanking Heaven, Buddha, Haruhi and any god out there, hoping the kiss to go better this time.

Surprise, surprise, it doesn’t. It’s clumsy, leaves our mouths full of saliva, our teeth collide, and Saeran is shaking. I’m not shaking because the rest of my body is frozen. He moves back and looks at me, his cheeks deep red and panting, and I return the stare.

“It was my first kiss,” I say as if to justify my clumsiness.

“I’m sorry.”

“...can I ask you your surname?”

“Choi.”

“SAERAN CHOI, STOP APOLOGISING!” I yell at him and hit his shoulder, and he startles. Suddenly, he bursts out laughing, and I think I may have died and that’s why I think Saeran has kissed me and those are the bells of Heaven.

Wow, I’m cheesy.

“It wasn’t bad for a first kiss,” he says, playing the teaser now.

“It was shit and you know it,” I snort.

“We’ll have to practice more,” he winks.

Oh, my fucking Lord Jesus Christ.

“You dickhead, don’t go all smooth now,” I hit his chest softly, regretting the lack of bite in my voice.

“You don’t want to?”

“I never said I didn’t,” I huff and move away. “Now, are you going to stay there forever or are we actually going to enjoy our time together?” That rhymed. I’m such a poet.

He moves to follow me, but takes my wrist and turns me around to give me another, more confident kiss. I part my lips, hesitantly, and mimic the movement of his mouth, trying not to be too clumsy as my heart tries to make its way out of my chest. He parts way too soon and pecks my lips again, grinning mischievously.

“Let’s go,” he says, and my heart sinks.

“Th-that’s what I was saying!” I exclaim and walk by his side, revelling in the feeling of his hand on mine. “What do you want to do?”

“Just walk,” he shrugs.

“Just walk, he says,” I snort as I start heading to one of my favourite parks, which I think will not be too crowded. “We can’t stay long because I actually have to study,” I say, pointing at my bag.

“Alright,” he nods, looking forward.

A student boy is not the sexiest things in the world, but I hope he still likes me. I’ll be in uni next year after all.

We walk around the park for some time, neither of us finding the need to talk, though I start rambling about school from time to time. Saeran listens to my blabbering and asks some occasional questions, which I’m more than happy to reply. I look at my phone and tell him I need to go home before it gets later.

“I can walk you home.”

“It’s alright,” I say. “I can get there on my own.”

“Alright,” he replies, though he doesn’t seem very happy.

“What is it?”

Instead of replying, he tugs of my hand and makes me face him. I look at him, my cheeks burning just as the thought of kissing him again forms in my mind, but I find the courage in me to do just so. I plant my lips on his and he returns the kiss.

“I was just thinking that I wanted to spend more time with you,” Saeran suddenly says and I startle.

“If you’re going to get all whiny about it, I guess you may as well see me home,” I say, an inner me crying of bliss.

He smiles, arching an eyebrow, and I lead the way.

“Do you like me?” he suddenly asks.

“Didn’t I say it before?” I reply, huffing.

“I didn’t hear you.”

“You did.”

“I like you, too,” he says, the last part sounding hesitating. Really?

“I noticed,” I say. “It’s good that you like me _back_ ,” I emphasise the word, blushing, and hear his low chuckle. He pulls me against a wall and kisses me, this time entering his tongue between my lips and I moan in his mouth, caring little about hiding my reaction, and digging my fingers in his hair.

We make out as heated teens, which I actually am, until Saeran suddenly pulls back, panting heavily and blushing as much as I. I look into his eyes, discerning a tint of lust and fear.

“What?” I say, though I wanted to say something more like ‘everything’s alright, sweetheart. You’re alright,’ but, well.

“It’s...” he bits his lower lip, anxious. “Are you sure... this is what you want? Tha-that _I_ am what you want?”

“Yah,” I shrug, knowing that it’s not the best answer, but it’s the only one I can give for now without dying of embarrassment.

And, thus, he sees me home as I lead the way, taking him through narrow alleys to kiss him and make the way longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check more content in my Tumblr!: https://makachan88.tumblr.com/


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes a new chapter! This one was super fun to write. I really hope you like it <3
> 
> Some nsfw content in this one.
> 
> Thank you for reading <3

**Saeran:** I’ve got issues.

I sigh, watching the message. After we made out, he stopped talking to me some days and I gave him some space, knowing he had freaked out even more than I, but now he’s coming with those issues things again.

“You moron, you’re going to open a whole in her if you rub her like that!” my sister exclaims at me as I rub the queen of my chess with my thumb. It’s a nervous habit, alright? Not that I’m nervous.

“Shut the fuck up,” I exclaim back at her, and turn back to answer Saeran’s message.

 **Emil:** I’m an issue, you dumbass

I stare at the screen as Saeran erases and writes answers for what feel like hours (but are probably seconds, because my sister hasn’t finished her bowl of crisps yet).

 **Saeran:** I’m troublesome

     I am not normal, Emil

 **Emil:** Good

 **Saeran:** I’m serious.

I put my hands on my head. Gaaah! He’s going to kill me.

 **Emil:** Read this, grumpy cat.

     I really like you, alright?

     The sooner you assimilate it, the sooner I’ll stop feeling embarrassed repeating it over and over again

     So

     Did you have lunch?

He stopped talking to me after that last message, but I receive a message from him the next day.

 **Saeran:** Would you be my boyfriend?

Now I am the one who’s not replying, staring blankly at the screen. I am not handsome. I am not fun. I’m moody, I’m... I’m hella clever, though. Maybe he likes clever people. Whatever. I would have never thought he’ll ask me to be his boyfriend by this point but...

 **Emil:** Sure lol

‘LOL’?! ‘LOL’?! What the fuck’s wrong with me?!

Before I start slamming my head against the wall, Saeran has replied my message (fortunately).

 **Saeran:** there are a couple of things I think you should know first.

     I’ve done awful things

     I... I have trust issues, but I’ll tell you some day if you want to hear me out.

     Also

     I’m not... fond of physical contact

     And

     I’m afraid of

     I can freak out easily

     I’m afraid of getting attached to people, and also of showing themselves who I am

     My body is... disgusting

     Full of scars and stretch marks

     Also

 **Emil:** It’s alright

 **Saeran:** ... It’s not

 **Emil:** Well, maybe it isn’t but

     It’s going to be

     And I would like to stick to you in the mean time like a fucking creep

     If you’d have me

I’m blushing like crazy as I ask him to cope with me, though I’m glad I did.

 **Saeran:** Thank you.

We agree that we’re going to send each other pictures of a heated character (ue ue ue) to make Saeran feel more comfortable about showing me his body. Much to my distress he starts sending me a picture in which I can see the scars on his arms. Looks pretty awful, to be honest, but not because he’s disgusting. I just don’t want to imagine the story behind those scars, and I don’t know if I even want to know who made them.

 **Emil:** you moron

     You have nice arms.

I send him a picture of my arms, too, because I’m a fucking idiot. I can imagine him at his house, sexily arching a sexy eyebrow, smirking sexily with his sexy mouth.

*** What Emil doesn’t know is that Saeran is staring at the screen, hiding his mouth behind his hand, his cheeks matching his hair, because, alas, he’s fucking gay for those arms.***

Thus, we continue sending each other pictures at every occasion we see fit. Soon enough, it stops being about Saeran’s issues, but more about showing the other what we are doing because we’re fucking disgustingly adorable.

 **Emil:** reminds me of you

I send him on my way to school as I see an orange cat.

S **aeran:** looks like a pawn

Saeran sends me a pick of a cloud. Of course, I see the pawn right away because I’m obsessed.

Our days are full of pictures like those and I want to puke rainbows until the sexy time arrives, usually at night. Saeran is the first one sending a picture since I want him to set the rhythm we should follow. The day arrives when I open my phone to find a picture of him shirtless.

He’s staring at the floor, hiding his mouth behind his arm, his bare chest on display before me, his underwear showing above his black trousers, and I feel mine tightening already. Of course, his cheeks are adorably flushed.

He’s fucking hor

Hot*.

Sorry, ehem.

 **Saeran:** Sorry, it’s lame.

Sorry, I’m having a stroke right here. What should I reply?

 **Emil:** I think I might die

 **Saeran:** you dork.

I send him a picture in which my thin torso of nerdy chess player is in display for him before thinking it twice, and decide to look again at his picture for a minute or two before reading his reply. It’s too embarrassing and I have better things to worry about, alright? Like my little friend down there.

God. Just how is he so hot? Does he train? Does he follow any especial diet? Has he made a pact with Satan? Was he sculpted by the gods?!

I undo my pants and take them off before my mind goes even crazier.

“Lube, lube,” I mutter, searching in the drawers of my bedside table.

I finally find it and make a good job out of my horny self quicker than ever. I’m lying on my bed, still panting, and suddenly it hits me. I just jerked off to Saeran’s picture.

I widen my eyes, looking at the ceiling, my face going full-red, and I want to die. This is embarrassing. How am I ever going to look to Saeran again?! The things I imagined him doing to me... Gaaaaah!!! Just why?!?!?! I should cut off my hands!!!

I take some tissues and clean my wasted body, still dying of shame and embarrassment, and go to have the coldest shower I’ve ever had. I cry in the shower because I should feel ashamed of myself. What’s Saeran going to think if he finds out? He’ll think I’m a pervert and disgusting and will break up with me. I’ve just spoiled a relationship of two weeks. Two weeks, that’s what my relationship with the most gorgeous guy ever has lasted. And all because I’m a fucking...

Wait.

He doesn’t need to find out.

I let out an evil laugh and my sister is banging on the door, telling me to shut up. Nevertheless, I don’t mind, for Saeran’s never going to know about my sins. Ohohohoho. I could even jerk off again at his picture and he wouldn’t find out!!

Proud of myself, I go back to my room, take my phone, and look at Saeran’s reply of my picture.

 **Saeran:** you’re beautiful.

How could I do such a thing to this angel?!

I cry again at my wickedness and type a reply.

 **Emil:** I have impure thoughts about you shirtless

OH MY GOD WHY DO I DO THIS TO ME?!?!?!?!

 **Saeran:** I’m... a bit happy about that

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, ANGEL OF PURITY AND DESIRE?!

He can be an angel.

Or a demon.

He’s Saeran Choi.

I think I just bROKE

Wait, is he ever going to send me a picture completely naked? Because I don’t know if my sanity will be able to handle that.

 **Saeran:** do you want to hang out this weekend?

It’s the first time _he_ asks _me_ and I want to cry.

 **Emil:** If you insist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check more content in my Tumblr!: https://makachan88.tumblr.com/


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the last chapter of this story! ^^ I had lots of fun writing it and I hope you have enjoyed it as well.
> 
> You can read the beginning of Saeran and Emil's date on my Patreon for free and become a patron if you want to read more!: https://www.patreon.com/alicecarroll
> 
> I am thinking about writing a story of Eddy since some of you told me you wanted to read more about him and this beginning didn't feel like quite enough, so tell me if you'd like to read it <3
> 
> Thank you so much for your support <3

Emil seems to be floating on a cloud today. I smile, looking at him, happy for my friend.

Oh, I almost forgot introducing myself.

My name is Edward Edwards, but everybody calls me Eddy. As in Emil and his sister’s case, my name is not really creative, but that’s something I actually like. It’s easier to remember my name this way!

Oh, I don’t want you to think I would have forgotten my name otherwise. I’m bad at names, but I think I can manage with the one I have.

Emil and I have known each other since the last year of primary school. I didn’t have any friends back then, and people didn’t like me too much because I was shy, small and “behaved weird.” I remember as if it were yesterday how I was in one of the compartments in the toilet, trying to get out, but those guys wouldn’t let me.

I was starting to panic, listening to their laugh, unable to open the door, when suddenly someone entered despite everybody was supposed to be in class by that time.

“Please, let me go, it’s urgent,” I heard Emil’s voice.

I took the opportunity to push and go out of the compartment, though I ended up falling on the floor at the feet of the guys. Emil looked at me, stunned, and one of the guys looked at me with a menacing look.

“What is happening...?”

The boys went away and Emil helped me up. It turned out that he was late to class because he had been to a chess tournament, which he had won, but needed to go to the toilet before the lesson started. That was the day we became friends.

Emil is so amazing! He always wins at chess, which is a very difficult game, and has the best grades at school. He always asks me with the utmost interest how I did in the exams, because he’s really attentive. I only got a better grade than he did once!

I was happy about seeing my friend in such a good mood, though suddenly he became gloomy.

“Eddy,” he turned to me. “What would you say if you boyfriend jerked off to your picture?”

I startle, surprised by the question.

“Why do you...?”

“Doesn’t matter, just answer.”

“I guess, I wouldn’t mind?” I reply.

“You’re a great guy, Eddy,” he says and my face lights up.

“You too!”

Suddenly, Emil makes that ‘I’ve just realised I’ve never asked you something’ face and speaks up again.

“Is there someone you like?” he says.

“I like Emil!” I reply, smiling.

“I mean romantically, you moron.”

“Oh,” I let out. I try to give Emil a smile, though I can’t help but feeling how it comes somehow sadder than I wanted to. “I... don’t think it would work out.”

“Why not?” he asks me, truly puzzled.

“I had a boyfriend before,” I confess, “and it didn’t go really well.”

“You’re gay?!” he asks me in disbelief. “Wait, it didn’t go well? What happened?”

He’s making his ‘I feel guilty that I didn’t know this about you but I’m never going to tell you because I’m tsundere’ face and I smile.

“Problems with sex,” I shrug.

Emil looks at me, with a knowing face and snorts.

“The guy was probably a jerk,” he huffs.

He then starts making question after question about him and our relationship. I can’t help but feeling a bit flustered at the sudden attention, but moved at his interest. The subject painfully shifts back to my new crush.

“But are you sure he wouldn’t like you?” Emil asks me.

“He doesn’t even know I exist,” I smile, sighing as I remember him: a red-haired man with eccentric glasses and bright smile that thanked me when he picked Saeran up from school the other day. He probably doesn’t even remember me.

Emil nods and pats my shoulder awkwardly.

“Dude,” he simply says.

Sometimes I get the impression that Emil actually wants to say more than he does, but I don’t really mind. I smile, knowing that we’ll always be besties, even if he doesn’t say it.

 

 

***The narrative goes back to Emil***

 

 

Last weekend I lost my virginity.

Easy way to start a narrative, Emil.

It was fucking crazy (literally) but now I have a problem. I can’t stop thinking about him. About _it_. About everything. And I’m fucking scared that I’m falling too deeply and I’m getting too ahead of myself, because we’ve not been dating for a month.

I hope I’ll put an end to my lust today visiting him again. His cool brother told him to invite me over, so I am standing on the door of his house, freaking out because I’m falling in love, because I want to fuck him but I’m nervous about it, because I’m going to have tea with him and his brother, because...

For fuck’s sake, Emil, get a grip!!!

I breathe in deeply and knock the door. After a couple of weird riddles, Seven opens the door with an apologetic expression.

“He didn’t text you again, did he?”

Good way to go.

He invites me in and gives me some Dr Pepper –because they don’t seem to have anything else than Dr Pepper, HBC and ice cream at that house– and I sit on the sofa.

“It’s not your fault,” Seven sighs and I can already feel the anxiousness pilling on my stomach. “It just happens sometimes. He wakes up feeling bad and just can’t get out of bed. Today happened to be one of those days, I’m sorry,” he gives me a sad smile. “But! You’re with god 707 now! Want to play some videogames? I don’t want your walk here to go to waste!”

“I... Can you play chess?”

“Of course,” he grins.

We play a couple of close games, though I can’t set my mind away from Saeran.

“Can’t I get into his room?” I ask Seven after I unconsciously take the queen out of the board to rub it against my thumb for the third time that afternoon.

Seven lets out a sigh.

“I don’t know if he’ll want you to see him like that.”

Gooooooooooood! This is freaking awful.

“What if I don’t give a... duck?” I don’t want to swear in front of my brother-in-law, alright?

Seven arches an eyebrow and I’ve realised saying ‘duck’ is even worse than swearing. Good, Emil. You just can’t talk like a normal person, now can you?!

“Then you shouldn’t give a duck about if I give you leave to enter his room or not,” he smirked.

Thank you, God, Buddha, Allah, Victuuri. I stand up and rush to his room, taking care of knocking the door before entering. I don’t really wait for an answer, though.

Saeran’s room is dark and I can distinguish his form shaking his lightly under the covers. I go to his side, acting like a decent human being for the first time in my life and not saying a single word, and sit on the bed.

“Sae...young?” he mutters.

“It’s me, Emil,” I reply.

He turns. He fucking turns and fucking takes my hand and I’m heriukfdj. I feel slightly guilty that I’m happy because he approaches me feeling bad, but damn. He sighs, and I can feel and apology in the air that goes out of his mouth with his breath. I just stare at him, quite clueless about what to say or do, but squeeze his hand reassuringly, which makes me earn a look from those green eyes which I don’t know how to interpret.

“If I disturb you, just tell?” I say, my sentence coming out more as a question than an affirmation.

“Stay,” he sighs and I feel my heart trying to burst out of my chest.

Should I lie next to him?! Should I not risk it and stay still?! My body is starting to ache from keeping the same position for so long, but damn, I don’t want to disturb him and be kicked off. I don’t want him to remember I’m there either, just in case he changes his mind and wants me out.

Nevertheless, he moves closer to me and I stop breathing and if I keep on like that more time, I’m going to die. God. I breathe, much to my distress, and whine as I feel Saeran looking up at me. I don’t know what his expression means, so I stand up, and he suddenly goes pale.

“Leaving?” he asks me.

“No? Yes? I don’t know,” I reply and Saeran gives me a shaky smile.

Oh. Oooh. Maybe he doesn’t want me to leave. As he actually told me. Yus, I need to relax.

I sit again on the bed and he lets out a shaky breath.

“Maybe you’re bored,” he says.

“Nah, this is exciting compared to what my day usually is. I mean, maybe not exciting, but it’s entertaining. Not that it entertains me that you’re sick. I don’t want you to be sick. It’d be funnier if we could eat your damn ice cream together and play around. Oh, shit, I don’t... it’s not... it’s fine if you don’t feel like it. Gaaaaaah,” I facepalm and stand up.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to hit my face against a wall,” I honestly reply.

“Don’t,” Saeran whines and I turn to him with a light blush.

“Just why do you cope with me?”

“I could ask the same.”

“It’s not the same thing,” I point an accusatory finger at him. “You’re an angel, so st... an angelzovsky, which is ‘jerk’ in Russian!!!” I move back in embarrassment, realising what I’ve just said, my face about to explode.

“Actually, it’s тупица,” I hear Seven’s voice at the other side of the door.

Saeran hides himself under the covers, but I can see the tip of his ears turning of a bright crimson.

“Whut?” I ask him, clueless, turning to face him.

“Jerk in Russian,” he smirks. “I brought ice cream,” he says in a sing-song voice before I can reply.

I take it and sit next to Saeran, who takes a look out of the covers as he hears his brother closing the door behind him. He sits up and I give him one of the spoons in silence, which he takes with an unspoken ‘thanks.’

We eat his favourite treat in silence, feeling our bodies against the other, and I want to kill myself. Should I say something? Should I not? Is he comfortable? Does he need a cushion, water, a hug???

“Do you need something?” he asks me after a while, his voice husky.

Yes, I do. I need a new brain, thanks, Saeran.

“I’m fine,” I reply. “Do you?”

“Just... stay,” he says, looking away from me with a light blush.

As much of a clumsy person that I am, I know I can do that. I’m more than eager to do that. I intertwine my free hand with his to tell him just so, not trusting my words. They always betray me.

We may be clumsy, awful at saying how we truly feel, awkward and scared, but now, as I sit on Saeran’s bed experiencing one of his bad days, I know that neither of those things really matter to me. Because going through all those brainwrecks it’s worth it. It will take a lot of time for me to get to understand Saeran, maybe more than it would take someone else. I may never understand him completely. But I’m eager to make the effort if he’ll have me.

“Thank you,” he says and I realise I’m saying all this aloud, and for the first time in my life, I keep on going instead of shutting up and getting flustered.

“Because I’m falling more in love with you the more I’m getting to know you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know any Russian, so I looked for the term in google :'D
> 
> If I don't have it right, please, tell mee <3

**Author's Note:**

> Check more content in my Tumblr!: https://makachan88.tumblr.com/


End file.
